Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The never beginning journey....

I feel like this journey is never going to start....

Just when I feel like it's getting started, the feeling disappears.

The couple I was "matched" with, came to me. Had such excitement to find me and wanted to move forward with me. Then "decided" to do open adoption instead...

Really? I don't know, maybe my mind is just incredibly screwy, but I would think that this was not something that was discussed throughly and decided upon in 48 hours. One would think this was something they were already considering before expressing such desire to have me be a surrogate for them. One would think.

The email I just received telling me they have changed their mind about the path they were taking was very cold. Not like the other emails we had exchanged.

Yes, this bothers me.

Though, I have to be grateful they even informed me they were no longer wanting to move forward...most of them just never talk to you again.

This is just so incredibly discouraging.

Is it coincidence? Is there something about me people don't like? I don't know. I'm feeling very blue tonight. This was just the icing on the cake (I really hate that analagy) so I'm having a pitty party. With no confetti.

I have been accepted to an agency. I gave in and decided to try that route and see if it goes any better. I have heard both sides to using an agency, so we will see. It can't hurt to try...right?


  1. Im sorry things aren't going the way you had hoped for. Don't ever give up, It will happen eventually!!!!! Love you!!

  2. I know NOTHING about surrogacy, literally nothing, but I just wanted to give you *hugs*. I've been thinking about you ever since I saw you last.