Tomorrow...or today; though I prefer to call it tomorrow, as for me, today isn't over until I go to sleep.
Tomorrow, I have my first official medical appointment on my journey as a surrogate.
It's a rather simple test. No lab required. Just me, my dr, a nurse, dye and an ultrasound machine. It's a complicated name. I won't bother you with it. They are looking for any blockage in my fallopian tubes because of an infection I had in my left one when I was a teenager.
As it was told to me, if there is a blockage, there is fluid that builds up. This fluid is deadly to an embryo/fetus. The fluid, should it leak into my uterus will prevent any embryos from implanting. Should a pregnancy take place, any leakage will kill the baby. Any blockage found needs to be removed before transfer takes place. This mostly likely would require removal of the blocked fallopian tube or at the very least, the blocked portion.
They will be inserting a dye...well...ya know where...the Dr can see where the dye goes with the ultrasound, if it goes all the way through my tubes...we are good. If not...well something needs to be fixed.
I have also learned that the blockage is not the only thing they can see that could cause a problem with me continuing as a surrogate.
A laceration on my uterus would put me out of the running completely. I don't know what causes them to be present. But I have also learned that they can make it difficult to become pregnant.
Needless to say, I'm a little nervous. Not that I actually have any reason to be. My OB has told me that I more than likely do not have any of those things present. I have had 3 beautiful pregnancies, births, and never had any problems becoming pregnant. If I had any of these things, he is sure he would have noticed SOMETHING in all of the ultrasounds I have had, or I would have had some problems with my fertility before now. Plus, I had a pregnancy a year and a half ago and had no medical issues since that time...so I should be good to go.
I hate that word.
I wish I already KNEW that I had nothing to worry about.
But then, there would be no reason for this test.
Again, it's not that I actually have a need to think something negative will show on this test. It's that, this journey has really kicked off, after all the time and effort I have put into just matching alone. The match I have is amazing. Doug and Charles are awesome. Truly awesome men. Even the smallest thing can end our journey together in an instant. It's a fragile journey. So I'm nervous about anything that can show that tiniest thing that could end our journey together...not to mention give Doug and Charles more disappointment. They deserve to be parents.
7:30am comes awfully early, especially when it's 1:00am and you are still unable to go to sleep.
I have some herbal sleepy time tea to try to help relax me and help me sleep.
Here's to a few hours sleep and good news from the test tomorrow.