I am so disappointed right now I could cry.
Just in the last few days I have had so,many emails with 3 couples that were very good potential IPs for me. Literally I could have been a GS for any of them. But it's not going to happen because of their clinics thoughts on my medical history.
I have had some bumps but they have not prevented me from having 3 beautiful pregnancies and births. But the clinics seem to think I can't be a carrier of someone else's baby.
It's incredibly frustrating.
Almost makes me angry.
I almost want to contact these places and yell at them telling them I'm not incapable of having a great pregnancy for someone.
I'm so.....negative right now I don't even want to blog. That's bad.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Response #6 & #7
Well I haven't heard back from the couple in Marshall since they asked about the fee. That's pretty normal though...oh well.
Still waiting days in between emails with the Texas couple. It's kind of irritating. They expressed this huge desire to have a GS to have a baby, but they are very slow to respond. I know there are several reasons this could be, but it just gives me an "off" sort of vibe. They are the first couple I have interacted with so far that has not been quick with emails. Everyone else I have spoken with seems to be very eager to get things going...I don't know, this is all still pretty new to me...
I had two new responses today. The second one seems like some kind of a scam though. Like an agency poking around at individual ads (they aren't supposed to do that). So I'm not paying it much attention.
But the other one I got sounded really good. Actually gave me goosebumps reading the email. It is a couple from New York City. I won't go through details right now, as we have only exchanged introductory emails, but I have a good feeling. I hope she responds back today...I'm very anxious to see if we are a match. It's one of the most difficult parts...
Still waiting days in between emails with the Texas couple. It's kind of irritating. They expressed this huge desire to have a GS to have a baby, but they are very slow to respond. I know there are several reasons this could be, but it just gives me an "off" sort of vibe. They are the first couple I have interacted with so far that has not been quick with emails. Everyone else I have spoken with seems to be very eager to get things going...I don't know, this is all still pretty new to me...
I had two new responses today. The second one seems like some kind of a scam though. Like an agency poking around at individual ads (they aren't supposed to do that). So I'm not paying it much attention.
But the other one I got sounded really good. Actually gave me goosebumps reading the email. It is a couple from New York City. I won't go through details right now, as we have only exchanged introductory emails, but I have a good feeling. I hope she responds back today...I'm very anxious to see if we are a match. It's one of the most difficult parts...
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Response #5
I just received my 5th response...and the woman is in Marshall, Missouri!!!
She was just about as excited as I am for that news!! We have each only exchanged one email, but STILL...it is always very exciting to find someone close, when that is what your preference is. I responded back to her, so I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting her response.
Yes, I know that just because she is so close, does not mean we will be a good match, or that it will happen. BUT still something to be excited about! :)
We shall see...
She was just about as excited as I am for that news!! We have each only exchanged one email, but STILL...it is always very exciting to find someone close, when that is what your preference is. I responded back to her, so I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting her response.
Yes, I know that just because she is so close, does not mean we will be a good match, or that it will happen. BUT still something to be excited about! :)
We shall see...
New Journey
I'm starting a new journey; and it's a big one. After years, and I do mean years, of thinking, research, contemplating, and more research, I have decided to become a gestational surrogate. It's big deal I know. I have researched so much, and had the privilage of speaking with a well known attorney who specializes in this area, and with experienced GSs. I have to say I am so thrilled to be on this journey to help a couple or single parent to have their dream baby. I cannot imagine what it would be like to try for years only to fail to have a baby of my own. I feel a strong pull to join someone in their journey to have just that.
I actually began this journey not long ago, and on the last night of my doula training I recently completed, one of my training mates gave me a great idea (Thanks Nikki!), to blog my experience. I thought that would be a great way to share my journey, as well as a great way to process during the journey when needed. Of course privacy of all IPs will be respected unless they give me their permission to disclose whom they are. (When I ever get matched). So that is what this blog will be about. I appreciate all those who follow this blog, and hope it touches each of you in some way.
On May 01, 2012 I posted my first ad as a gestational surrogate searching for the right independent parents to match with. I wasn't too sure what to expect. I felt good about it though, and a little nervous about how intended parents that came across my ad would percieve me as a potential GS. This is process is a whole different ballgame than anything I have ever subjected myself to, and the feelings were different as well. So I placed my ad with butterflies in my stomach, and waited...
On May 03, 2012 @ 2:55pm, I recieved my first response. I couldn't believe it happened that quick! I instantly became so excited and nervous to read what these IPs had said to me I began to shake a little! I was surprised at my phyisiological response! I opened the email to read that a couple (so cute by the way in the pics they sent), from Illinois wanted me to be their surrogate.
Now I have been advised that if something seems a little off, or the IPs are a bit too eager in the first communications to make you their "one," that is not a right fit.
And that is just how I felt. While I felt so honored that someone out there actually wanted ME to be that person for them, it just didn't feel right for me, so I declined.* And the wait continued...
On May 07, 2012, I received a second response. This time from a couple in St. Louis, and they seemed like the perfect match!! I was so excited when I read their email!! It just felt right. But that too didn't work out. A part of my situation didn't bode well with them, and they declined. A little disappointment...but I knew this could take a while so I continued to wait...
May 14, 2012 @ 11:25pm, I received a 3rd response. Another couple, who live in Texas. We are actually still have communication, nothing has been decided yet. They must be very busy people, because days go by in between responses from them, which is fine...it makes me so anxious. I am so eager (but not too eager...too eager=danger), to start this process...I'm currently waiting for a response from them...it has been two day...
In the mean time, I received a 4th response on the morning of May 15, 2012, this one was so odd, I immediately had bad feelings and declined just as quickly as the feelings came. The way this person expressed them self to me alarmed me at why they even were trying to become a parent, and made me feel as though I did not want to be a part of that. It was so strange...I couldn't believe there are people out there like that!! Even more blown away that people actually think others will be ok helping them become parents with "interests" like these. It was very unsettling.
So now I continue to wait for the response of the Texas couple, and any other response to my ad. I have also been doing some IP searching, and found 2 that I have sent beginning emails to, to see if they respond, and if they do, what will come out of them. I continue to be anxious, but patient (oxymoron right?) I continue to be hopeful (no pun intended).
Hopefully soon...
I actually began this journey not long ago, and on the last night of my doula training I recently completed, one of my training mates gave me a great idea (Thanks Nikki!), to blog my experience. I thought that would be a great way to share my journey, as well as a great way to process during the journey when needed. Of course privacy of all IPs will be respected unless they give me their permission to disclose whom they are. (When I ever get matched). So that is what this blog will be about. I appreciate all those who follow this blog, and hope it touches each of you in some way.
On May 01, 2012 I posted my first ad as a gestational surrogate searching for the right independent parents to match with. I wasn't too sure what to expect. I felt good about it though, and a little nervous about how intended parents that came across my ad would percieve me as a potential GS. This is process is a whole different ballgame than anything I have ever subjected myself to, and the feelings were different as well. So I placed my ad with butterflies in my stomach, and waited...
On May 03, 2012 @ 2:55pm, I recieved my first response. I couldn't believe it happened that quick! I instantly became so excited and nervous to read what these IPs had said to me I began to shake a little! I was surprised at my phyisiological response! I opened the email to read that a couple (so cute by the way in the pics they sent), from Illinois wanted me to be their surrogate.
Now I have been advised that if something seems a little off, or the IPs are a bit too eager in the first communications to make you their "one," that is not a right fit.
And that is just how I felt. While I felt so honored that someone out there actually wanted ME to be that person for them, it just didn't feel right for me, so I declined.* And the wait continued...
On May 07, 2012, I received a second response. This time from a couple in St. Louis, and they seemed like the perfect match!! I was so excited when I read their email!! It just felt right. But that too didn't work out. A part of my situation didn't bode well with them, and they declined. A little disappointment...but I knew this could take a while so I continued to wait...
May 14, 2012 @ 11:25pm, I received a 3rd response. Another couple, who live in Texas. We are actually still have communication, nothing has been decided yet. They must be very busy people, because days go by in between responses from them, which is fine...it makes me so anxious. I am so eager (but not too eager...too eager=danger), to start this process...I'm currently waiting for a response from them...it has been two day...
In the mean time, I received a 4th response on the morning of May 15, 2012, this one was so odd, I immediately had bad feelings and declined just as quickly as the feelings came. The way this person expressed them self to me alarmed me at why they even were trying to become a parent, and made me feel as though I did not want to be a part of that. It was so strange...I couldn't believe there are people out there like that!! Even more blown away that people actually think others will be ok helping them become parents with "interests" like these. It was very unsettling.
So now I continue to wait for the response of the Texas couple, and any other response to my ad. I have also been doing some IP searching, and found 2 that I have sent beginning emails to, to see if they respond, and if they do, what will come out of them. I continue to be anxious, but patient (oxymoron right?) I continue to be hopeful (no pun intended).
Hopefully soon...
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