It's been 4 days since Baby William's birth. And I'm blue.
There is so much I have been trying to process in these last four days. It's kind of overwhelming.
I haven't written his birth story yet. It all happened so quickly, the memory of it for me is all jumbled. So I'm waiting for the written accounts of everyone's experience that was there, to help me put it all together a little better before I write it.
It was a beautiful experience, beautiful birth, and William deserves a beautiful, detailed story about the day he was born.
I know that's contributing to my blueness...
(That was what I started 2 days ago.) Here I am now, at 12:36am, one hour short of it being exactly one week since his birth, finishing it...
It has already been one week since Baby William was born. This week has really flown. Really. flown.
The end came so incredibly quick. I kind of feel like I almost missed it.
This past week has been one of miracles, amazement, wonder, beauty, sadness, and disappointment.
The birth of Baby William...oh what a beautiful birth it was....details on that in his birth story.
For the first few days, I was really surprised; I felt so wonderful. I really did.
Then 4 days after his birth...
...it happened.
The post-partum blues.
I just felt...I don't even know...
I found myself just blankly wandering around my house. I didn't even realize it at first. I felt like I wanted to do something; clean, organize, anything. But I just felt lost on how to start, like...I didn't know what to do and all I wanted to do was clean.
It was the sound. The house was suddenly so quiet. For weeks it had not been so quiet. There were appointments, and my friend staying with us to help me out, Doug and Charles were there, then the birth, and the house was full of people. So full of kind hearted people that I loved.
then.
suddenly.
they were all gone.
and the house was quiet.
I didn't know what to do with it.
I broke.
I just cried. and cried. and cried. Without even knowing why. I just. cried.
Was I sad? Not really. Not for the reasons I know people will think anyway. Seeing Doug and Charles with their new baby boy in their arms...made me so happy, at times I just sat and watched them interact together, with their son; with a stuck on smile on my face.
Yes, I was sad because I missed them.
Doug. Charles. Baby William.
We had a mini tradition if you will of them coming over every Sunday to watch football and do their laundry. That wasn't happening this coming Sunday.
I missed them. All. three. of them.
But mostly, what was getting to me, was the adjustment of everything.
I was really enjoying not having an infant to look after! (That hasn't changed! haha) But it was just the adjustment to that fact. My doula put it well, my mind was well prepared for that, but my body wasn't. A woman's body is engineered to gear up through hormones, for the care of the infant after birth. My body did not know (or care) that the baby wasn't meant for me, no matter how much I knew that in my head and was prepared for it. She explained it like this: it's like the day after Christmas. You are so excited and spend so much time and effort for that one day, and then it's over...just...like..that. Done.
I felt like...I wasn't doing something important that I should be doing. That is the best way I can figure out to explain it. I was ok with that of course, but it almost felt like I was doing something wrong.
It really is difficult to explain to those who have never experienced it.
Through talking it out, mostly with my wonderful doula, I came to the realization that, no matter what people tell me, I am NOT superwoman ;) and that my sudden set of the blues was a mixture of normal after baby blues, the unique adjustment I was making, missing the guys, and feeling disappointed in myself for how I was feeling. Like somehow, I was bad for feeling so down. Even for a moment.
I didn't want to feel badly, in any way, shape, or form. I had myself blinded and completely disregarded the fact that no matter how I felt about the journey ending, that normal post-partum blues could still happen, and probably would still happen. The fact that I didn't prepare myself for that, I think exacerbated the rest of it.
I'm better now. I talked about it with my doula. I had my placenta encapsulated (I hadn't taken it like I was supposed to that day either) and made sure to take it on schedule to see if that would help (it totally did), and I Skyped with the guys and Baby William (and Tivo!).
I have said it before, I will say it a million times more...I am so lucky to have the IPs that I do. They are amazing people. We really do have a great friendship. Charles messaged me to make sure I was ok. He offered to Skype with me, so we could talk and I could see them and Baby William, thinking that would help me feel better. I was a mess, and really wasn't sure if that was the best idea, but accepted his offer. I'm glad I did. We had a nice little talk and I got updates and little stories about how they were doing and the little things they had already experienced in their new parenthood. I got to see little Baby William...he is so cute!!!
Having that time on Skype really helped. Just talking to Charles really helped. He offered for us to Skype on a regular basis, saying that he thought it would be good for all of us to do.
I was really disappointed in myself for feeling so down. But I came to realize that I am feeling what I'm feeling, and I can't change it. I accepted that for a moment, I wasn't "superwoman", but a normal, feeling, human.
Just like that, I felt better.
It's ok to miss them. Because we ARE friends...no...we are FAMILY. (I remember Doug saying that the day they left in between streams of tears).
Our family was extended by 3 wonderful people. (and Tivo)
Enough with the heavy. I'm feeling much better now. I am still emotional. (Hell I have always been an emotional person) But for all good reasons. I'm still kind of in awe that I had a home water birth. That alone gives me such a sense of accomplishment, on top of being a surrogate, that I get teary. But it's all good. :)
I'm getting back to my life slowly. The week of recovery I had to take slowed me down a bit, but I'm healing so well, I feel great! And I'm back to being able to clean my own house, and chase (ok, walk) after my kids. I can walk and not hurt! haha.
It feels good to have my body back. (No offense Baby William! I loved carrying you, but man did you do a number to my pelvis and ribs! haha)
It feels good to be able to easily bend and put my shoes on!
Oh it's the simple joys in life. :-D
Don't worry, Baby William's birth story IS coming soon! As soon as I get the personal accounts of the others that were there to help me piece it all together. I have it started, but there are holes. :-/ I don't like holes.
We had a birth photographer there also, and she took some amazing photos! Rachel at Tripp Over Love Photography did such an amazing job! I'm so glad she was there to capture these precious moments for both the guys (becoming parents) and myself (first home/water birth). So much accomplishment all the way around to capture on film. :)
So what am I doing now? Well, now my time is filled with pumping! Yay boobie juice! This milk was made for Baby William. I am a passionate advocate for breast feeding/breast milk. So I'm pumping for as long as I can, and sending the milk to Baby William. It was kind of a slow start. I have never exclusively pumped before, (I nursed my kids and pumped, but never just pumped...that is whole different ball game) so I wasn't sure what to expect. I went to visit a lactation consultant and got some great tips and advice. Now one week after the birth, I am pumping a good amount and damn proud of it!!! I just hope I can keep pumping this amount for a good while. I'm already stocked up with lactation cookies, lactation tincture, and lactation tea to help keep my supply up, should it start to drop before we are ready for it to.
I got this! Boobie power!!!
Ok, ok, now I'm just being goofy...in my defense, it's almost two in the morning. :)
Hopefully the next update will be the birth story...hint...hint...to those I'm waiting on. ;)
Happy one week Baby William!!! One week old and already changed so many lives!
Follow us on Facebook.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
37 weeks!!
This is me at 36 weeks. (This is the last belly shot I took. Kind of sad about that)
A good friend of mine made this shirt for me! I love it.
Well, bed rest still sucks. Stir crazy does not even begin to describe how I feel. I'm not on complete rest anymore, now that I am 37 weeks, we are considered full term, so the worry really isn't there anymore if he was born now. But, still would like him to stay in as long as he needs too, so I still have to be careful about things I do.
My friend that has been helping out is still here and still helping.
Man oh man am I grateful for having such a good friend that is able and willing to stay with us to help out like this. She even drives with me to class because I live 30min away from home, just in case I go into labor while in class, she can drive me home. She has truly been a Godsend to me during these last couple of weeks. Don't know what I would do without her help.
Doug and Charles are here, just about 15 minutes up the road. I really like having them so close. We get to spend more time together. They get to come to the check-ups, and they WILL be there for the birth...no chance of them missing it. It really has eased a lot from my shoulders having them so close.
Nothing else has changed. Baby boy is still doing well. I'm still uncomfortable, haha
I have been having prodromal labor. Not exactly what I call fun. It really keeps me on my toes.
I have never experienced prodromal labor before, so this is completely new to me. As a doula, I have had clients that had this, but I myself...had no clue what it felt like. I do now and I can't say that I like it. Though, my midwife keeps telling me that typically, women that have prodromal labor, have shorter deliveries. We shall see if that rings true with me.
That's it for this tale. Every day we get through is a day closer to baby boy arriving earth side. We continue to wait patiently. (mostly) :)
Follow us on Facebook here
Friday, October 11, 2013
Pre-term Labor & Bed Rest
Today, I am 35wks, 5ds.
This last month there have been a lot of changes. First for the boring stuff. We got the birth certificate stuff worked out finally! We made a court date finally, and my attorney spoke with the judge to prepare. The judge informed her he was happy with the documents we had submitted and was not going to require us to appear in court!
Woo-hoo!!!!
So that stress is done with.
Baby boy has continued to grow well. I have been seeing my Midwife on a weekly basis for a while now. We are pretty sure he is a decent sized baby. His head is in my pelvis, butt just under my breasts, legs folded, feet in ribs. When he moves, I'm always having to move around and lean to one side; do whatever I can to accommodate his position to give myself some relief. It's pretty uncomfortable most of the time. haha. But I'm used to it by now. Just one of the things we women deal with for those amazing tiny people. :) So I really don't mind.
As for baby boy, he has been trying to make his appearance too early. At 35wks, 1dy I was having some very strange pains in my pelvis and cervix and lots of pressure. After going in to see my Midwife because of that, we found out that I was 100% effaced (cervix completely thinned out ready for labor) and 2cm dilated. I had already lost my mucus plug, and my Midwife was able to feel the amniotic sac.
Thinning and dilating weeks before labor is common the more pregnancies you have, and this is my fourth delivery, but I just can't get mentally comfortable with being completely effaced already at only 35 weeks. I won't lie, it is weighing on me and keeping me worried. I'm very careful about the movements I make, making sure not to put additional pressure on my pelvis. I was put on partial bed rest with some very specific instructions until I saw my Midwife again for a check. That bed rest thing isn't easy for me...
Two days later, at 35wks, 3ds I saw my Midwife again and she checked me again, there was ZERO cervical change. GOOD NEWS!!! So I was no longer confined to my bed, but still had some instructions just to be safe. Light activity, no stairs.
We can do this, everything is going to be ok.
So here I was last night (Thursday) and suddenly started having contractions that were averaging 5 minutes apart, lasting for an average of 1 minute.
not. good.
Especially this being the second time this has happened. (I don't remember if I posted about that last time, but this happened several weeks ago). It went on for a couple of hours. I followed my Midwife's protocol to attempt to stop the contractions and they finally slowed down enough that we figured I would be ok for the night. They never did STOP, but they slowed down. Scary stuff I tell ya.
I have never had to worry about pre term labor before. I have never been this close to labor before 36wks before. I tell ya, I don't like it. I'm still having these contractions today, but they are not at all consistent, which is a good sign.
Inconsistent = no baby.
However, I am now on full bed rest. No classes. No walking. No standing. No nothing. Butt on couch or in tub only. I have never had to be on bed rest before in my life. This is a new experience for me. I have come to the conclusion:
BED REST BITES!!
But it's for a worthy cause, so I'm ok with it. I may be going stir crazy (STIR. CRAZY. I tell ya), but I'm ok with it. All for the sake of this little baby boy. I will do anything to keep him in as long as I can. I want to do everything I can to make sure Doug and Charles get a beautiful healthy baby boy, and don't have to go through the agony of having a newborn in NICU.
Doug and Charles will be here tomorrow. They are driving down in the morning to be here just in case their son decides to go ahead and quit teasing us and makes his appearance. With the way this little guy has been going, we just can't feel confident one way or another; if he will stay in long enough or not!
But I am excited they will finally be down here really soon!
I'm so excited for them to finally be able to feel him move in my belly!!!
I have been so fortunate to have a good friend of mine stay with us, to help me since being put on bed rest. With 3 children to care for, one being only 2 years old, bed rest isn't exactly doable. But having my friend here has been SO INCREDIBLY helpful!!! She is helping with my housework, caring for my kids, helping with shopping....just being so amazing! As hard as this is for me, being on bed rest (I am SO NOT a couch loafing kind of person), I appreciate her so much for all she is doing for me and my family right now. Seriously an amazing person to devote so much time and effort to us. Huge heart, great woman.
So I'm here, hanging out on the couch, keeping the legs crossed super tight, hoping he stays in, watching my 2yr old wrestle around with my helpful friend. :-D
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Chugging on through the 3rd Trimester!
Please forgive me!!! I know it has been over 2 months since my last post, lots of folks have been reminding me. :) Life is just so busy! I need an assistant...any takers?!
This is my most recent belly picture. 29 weeks, 2 days! Hubby and I were getting ready to go out for our anniversary dinner.
Lots has happened. Let's see if I can remember to add everything...probably not. Thanks pregnancy brain. haha
Ok, well for the most part, nothing major has happened. The pregnancy has continued to be smooth sailing.
In July, I took a trip for a class to Jamaica to teach underprivileged youth. We were there in a local town, getting a local experience for one week. It was quite the experience I have to say. I had to be very careful because of the heat. We were there, living in local homes, with no air conditioning or hot water. We lived in Jamaica for a week without any air conditioning at all, and outside most of the time. Which was actually better than being inside with all the homes and buildings being made of steel and concrete. I kept a cool rag on my neck ALL THE TIME, and never went without ice water. I managed though, with the help of my midwife (via phone) and the family I stayed with, and the community we were in. They were so great at making sure I had what I needed, and that I was taken care of. :)
This is me at 23 weeks in Jamaica! It was a little awkward at first to have my belly being bared for all to see, but the Jamaicans loved it! haha. They definitely made a very pregnant white girl feel comfortable. :)
The worst thing that has happened, is I ended up having an extremely bad urinary tract infection. Something I am not new to, but was new to this level of infection; it was by far the worst I have ever had. So much so, it had us all thinking something else was going on. After a very overly, unnecessary, dramatic trip to the ER (driven by worried mother, speeding, pulled over, cop overreacting to situation, ambulance was called, treatment as I was in preterm labor)we found that it was in fact, just a UTI, nothing more. It was just at a higher level of infection in my body than I have experienced before. I was taken care of very well and the infection was treated and everything went right back to normal. :)
I will tell you though! That was one ER trip I will never forget! haha. At least the cop was very concerned and understood the importance of the situation, had it been to the extreme he treated it as it was.
While at the hospital, I had an ultrasound done of baby boy, just to make sure he was ok in there. The technician was able to get a great picture of his face! So cute, you can see those little chubby cheeks already!
That's about all the excitement we have had so far. :)
Still so incredibly fortunate that nothing has actually been SERIOUS. All still minor little bumps that just happen in life. I continue feeling blessed to have such a great journey. I'm pretty sure there is a surrogacy angel in control somewhere. :)
The third trimester has been pretty typical. So much movement!!! This is little guy is STRONG! My placenta is anterior...
To help those that do know the significance of that, it can make it difficult to hear the
baby's heart beat early in pregnancy (which is was), and baby movements are not near as
easily felt. Typically. This baby boy is the exception to that.
I have had absolutely NO problems feeling him at all! lol. No decrease in the ability to feel him move. He kicks and punches, and jabs, and lets himself be known in there for sure! Strong baby boy. :)
I have to say, the third trimester is my favorite. So much activity, and you can "play" with the baby. Lol.
My hubby is so sweet, and rubs my belly for me. It feels soooooooo good, not really sure why, but it does. One night while he was doing this, baby boy started kicking his hands. So my hubby began to "play" by putting his hand on my belly, and baby would kick. Hubby moved his hand to another location...kick. Move it again....kick. No matter where he moved his hand, baby boy would kick it. It was funny!
I felt sad that Doug and Charles couldn't be there to experience that, but I shared the fun story with them! They were tickled by it. :) When they finally get to come down, they get to experience some of this fun part....I can't wait to see them interact with their baby inutero.
I love watching my belly. When he is active, it is incredibly entertaining! I have taken a few videos for Doug and Charles to see it, (having trouble sending it to them, technology is not always my friend). I can't wait to hear their reactions!
The last week or so, movement has slowed down. I am now at 31 weeks, 3 days, and baby boy is head down, and running out of room.
Our long-term followers may remember us finding out that I have a unicornate uterus. For those that do not, that means I am missing a lobe of my uterus. The upper left lobe that connects with the fallopian tube to be exact. So baby boy doesn't have quite as much room as he really should have, so it gets a little tighter in there a little quicker than normal. We are both fine, I just get uncomfortable quicker. haha.
I also have a condition with my pelvis. I had it with my youngest child, and so of course, it is present now as well. It is quite common actually, symphysis pubis dysfunction. Not fun. With my last pregnancy, I was so incredibly miserable, I could barely move, it killed me to walk....it was just horrible. Mainly because I was never told there were ways to manage the condition and the pain. This time, I have a great provider and more knowledge myself. I have been seeing a chiropractor the entire pregnancy, and it has helped SO MUCH!!
With classes being back in session, I am walking all over campus so it can get kind of painful sometimes. But that chiro really helps and wrapping my hips really helps too. So it's not nearly as inconvenient as my last pregnancy.
When you know better, you do better. :) (love that phrase)
Seriously ladies, if you get pregnant in the future, or are now, and aren't doing so already, SEE A CHIROPRACTOR DURING PREGNANCY!!! You will NOT regret it! It makes late pregnancy so much more comfortable and tolerable. Seriously.
So other than the stiff rib kicks, bladder jabs, and the day or two before I see the chiropractor, I'm not THAT uncomfortable. Definitely a plus I would say! :)
The downfall if you will, with surrogacy, is all the legal stuff. No one likes the legal stuff. It gives ya a headache. Right now, it seems like we are rushing the labor clock. Because of the difference in laws in Missouri and Illinois, concerning both surrogacy, and same-sex parenting, we all have to sign court documents stating every little detail about the surrogacy, how the baby came to be alive and everyone's involvement, in addition to the fact of me signing over my "parental rights" once baby is born, so that Charles can be on the birth certificate, and then Doug can adopt baby boy when they return home.
Understandable right? Right. The problem has been...the attorneys. *sigh* This all started in June. We were under the impression we would have this court date done and everything ready for birth by August at the latest. Well here we are, nearing the middle of September, still with no court date. grrrrr......this MUST be done before baby boy arrives. Which is only 9 weeks away by EDD, but in my case, may very well be only 6 weeks away, and in the legal world, 6 weeks is not very long at all!!! If this is not done before he arrives, it can still be done of course, but it will make the process more difficult, and take much longer, which could potentially keep the guys from taking their precious baby home. I don't want to see that happen. These attorney's better hurry up!! haha
It is what it is, it's out of our hands. All we can do is wait. And so we wait...
On a better note, the guys will be coming down soon, and we should be doing a maternity photo shoot. Just because they are using a surrogate, doesn't mean they don't deserve to have those shots too. So we are going to get creative and have some fun getting some photos of us together and this big 'ol belly that homes their unborn son. :)
As we draw nearer to baby boy's day of arrival, we have finalized the birth plans and making sure we are prepared with all the tools necessary.
Baby boy will be born at my home. Ideally in water (unless I decide in labor I don't like the water). I'm very excited for their baby to be born in that kind of calming, quiet, soothing atmosphere, vs the high energy, bright light, anxiety filled atmosphere of a hospital.
The birth kit has arrived and I have everything ready at home for the big day (minus the birth pool which will be coming soon). Doug and Charles were so sweet to make sure I have everything I feel I will need for my post partum healing, and I now have all of that as well. They take such good care of me. :)
They are going to be GREAT parents.
Right now at this very moment, I'm battling allergies (hate you ragweed) but enjoying these last few weeks of pregnancy. I keep getting questions about if I'm ready for it to be over.
No.
It's bittersweet actually. At times I am ready to be done with pregnancy. But most of the time, I'm not. Because I know I will never get to experience this again. And again, depending on the day, depends on how Ok with that I am. The miracle of pregnancy never fails to amaze me, and I never get tired of it.
But at the same time, I am so anxious to see Doug and Charles holding their baby finally!!!! Sometimes I try to imagine what their reactions are going to be to him finally coming earth side. Oh it's going to be so amazing to watch that.
I'm so glad we are going to have a photographer there to capture that moment for them. It is definitely going to be priceless. :)
I will be updating more often. Making sure to document as much during these last few weeks, since things will be changing somewhat rapidly from here on out.
P.S. I have created a FB page specially for our surrogacy journey. I never, ever, thought we would gain such a volume of readers and followers. That was never my intention in starting this blog and sharing my journey. I just wanted to document the pregnancy for the guys and myself, and maybe help some others understand what we are doing. But our story really soared into the public. I was becoming too overwhelmed with trying to keep everyone updated with everything. I had to post to several different places, and the guys had to post, and it was just chaotic. Lol. So I thought having ONE central location for info and updates would make it easier for us all, and be able to allow people to interact with us if they chose. (so many questions to be asked) :)
This blog will not end at baby boy's arrival. My journey will continue as I exclusively pump for him and that alone comes with it's own challenges. I will be giving updates on his well being and his (I know will be) wonderful life with his daddies.
So if you haven't already, and would like to follow us on our new Facebook page and so you don't miss baby boy's arrival: here is the link:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Surrogacy-Journey/329999400470102
"like" the page, so you get the updates in your news feed.
Thank you to everyone that follows our journey. Friends. Family. Strangers. Whether you know it or not, you all have provided so much support for us (especially me) and I can't tell you thank you enough or how much I know we all appreciate it.
Much love.
This is my most recent belly picture. 29 weeks, 2 days! Hubby and I were getting ready to go out for our anniversary dinner.
Lots has happened. Let's see if I can remember to add everything...probably not. Thanks pregnancy brain. haha
Ok, well for the most part, nothing major has happened. The pregnancy has continued to be smooth sailing.
In July, I took a trip for a class to Jamaica to teach underprivileged youth. We were there in a local town, getting a local experience for one week. It was quite the experience I have to say. I had to be very careful because of the heat. We were there, living in local homes, with no air conditioning or hot water. We lived in Jamaica for a week without any air conditioning at all, and outside most of the time. Which was actually better than being inside with all the homes and buildings being made of steel and concrete. I kept a cool rag on my neck ALL THE TIME, and never went without ice water. I managed though, with the help of my midwife (via phone) and the family I stayed with, and the community we were in. They were so great at making sure I had what I needed, and that I was taken care of. :)
This is me at 23 weeks in Jamaica! It was a little awkward at first to have my belly being bared for all to see, but the Jamaicans loved it! haha. They definitely made a very pregnant white girl feel comfortable. :)
The worst thing that has happened, is I ended up having an extremely bad urinary tract infection. Something I am not new to, but was new to this level of infection; it was by far the worst I have ever had. So much so, it had us all thinking something else was going on. After a very overly, unnecessary, dramatic trip to the ER (driven by worried mother, speeding, pulled over, cop overreacting to situation, ambulance was called, treatment as I was in preterm labor)we found that it was in fact, just a UTI, nothing more. It was just at a higher level of infection in my body than I have experienced before. I was taken care of very well and the infection was treated and everything went right back to normal. :)
I will tell you though! That was one ER trip I will never forget! haha. At least the cop was very concerned and understood the importance of the situation, had it been to the extreme he treated it as it was.
While at the hospital, I had an ultrasound done of baby boy, just to make sure he was ok in there. The technician was able to get a great picture of his face! So cute, you can see those little chubby cheeks already!
That's about all the excitement we have had so far. :)
Still so incredibly fortunate that nothing has actually been SERIOUS. All still minor little bumps that just happen in life. I continue feeling blessed to have such a great journey. I'm pretty sure there is a surrogacy angel in control somewhere. :)
The third trimester has been pretty typical. So much movement!!! This is little guy is STRONG! My placenta is anterior...
To help those that do know the significance of that, it can make it difficult to hear the
baby's heart beat early in pregnancy (which is was), and baby movements are not near as
easily felt. Typically. This baby boy is the exception to that.
I have had absolutely NO problems feeling him at all! lol. No decrease in the ability to feel him move. He kicks and punches, and jabs, and lets himself be known in there for sure! Strong baby boy. :)
I have to say, the third trimester is my favorite. So much activity, and you can "play" with the baby. Lol.
My hubby is so sweet, and rubs my belly for me. It feels soooooooo good, not really sure why, but it does. One night while he was doing this, baby boy started kicking his hands. So my hubby began to "play" by putting his hand on my belly, and baby would kick. Hubby moved his hand to another location...kick. Move it again....kick. No matter where he moved his hand, baby boy would kick it. It was funny!
I felt sad that Doug and Charles couldn't be there to experience that, but I shared the fun story with them! They were tickled by it. :) When they finally get to come down, they get to experience some of this fun part....I can't wait to see them interact with their baby inutero.
I love watching my belly. When he is active, it is incredibly entertaining! I have taken a few videos for Doug and Charles to see it, (having trouble sending it to them, technology is not always my friend). I can't wait to hear their reactions!
The last week or so, movement has slowed down. I am now at 31 weeks, 3 days, and baby boy is head down, and running out of room.
Our long-term followers may remember us finding out that I have a unicornate uterus. For those that do not, that means I am missing a lobe of my uterus. The upper left lobe that connects with the fallopian tube to be exact. So baby boy doesn't have quite as much room as he really should have, so it gets a little tighter in there a little quicker than normal. We are both fine, I just get uncomfortable quicker. haha.
I also have a condition with my pelvis. I had it with my youngest child, and so of course, it is present now as well. It is quite common actually, symphysis pubis dysfunction. Not fun. With my last pregnancy, I was so incredibly miserable, I could barely move, it killed me to walk....it was just horrible. Mainly because I was never told there were ways to manage the condition and the pain. This time, I have a great provider and more knowledge myself. I have been seeing a chiropractor the entire pregnancy, and it has helped SO MUCH!!
With classes being back in session, I am walking all over campus so it can get kind of painful sometimes. But that chiro really helps and wrapping my hips really helps too. So it's not nearly as inconvenient as my last pregnancy.
When you know better, you do better. :) (love that phrase)
Seriously ladies, if you get pregnant in the future, or are now, and aren't doing so already, SEE A CHIROPRACTOR DURING PREGNANCY!!! You will NOT regret it! It makes late pregnancy so much more comfortable and tolerable. Seriously.
So other than the stiff rib kicks, bladder jabs, and the day or two before I see the chiropractor, I'm not THAT uncomfortable. Definitely a plus I would say! :)
The downfall if you will, with surrogacy, is all the legal stuff. No one likes the legal stuff. It gives ya a headache. Right now, it seems like we are rushing the labor clock. Because of the difference in laws in Missouri and Illinois, concerning both surrogacy, and same-sex parenting, we all have to sign court documents stating every little detail about the surrogacy, how the baby came to be alive and everyone's involvement, in addition to the fact of me signing over my "parental rights" once baby is born, so that Charles can be on the birth certificate, and then Doug can adopt baby boy when they return home.
Understandable right? Right. The problem has been...the attorneys. *sigh* This all started in June. We were under the impression we would have this court date done and everything ready for birth by August at the latest. Well here we are, nearing the middle of September, still with no court date. grrrrr......this MUST be done before baby boy arrives. Which is only 9 weeks away by EDD, but in my case, may very well be only 6 weeks away, and in the legal world, 6 weeks is not very long at all!!! If this is not done before he arrives, it can still be done of course, but it will make the process more difficult, and take much longer, which could potentially keep the guys from taking their precious baby home. I don't want to see that happen. These attorney's better hurry up!! haha
It is what it is, it's out of our hands. All we can do is wait. And so we wait...
On a better note, the guys will be coming down soon, and we should be doing a maternity photo shoot. Just because they are using a surrogate, doesn't mean they don't deserve to have those shots too. So we are going to get creative and have some fun getting some photos of us together and this big 'ol belly that homes their unborn son. :)
As we draw nearer to baby boy's day of arrival, we have finalized the birth plans and making sure we are prepared with all the tools necessary.
Baby boy will be born at my home. Ideally in water (unless I decide in labor I don't like the water). I'm very excited for their baby to be born in that kind of calming, quiet, soothing atmosphere, vs the high energy, bright light, anxiety filled atmosphere of a hospital.
The birth kit has arrived and I have everything ready at home for the big day (minus the birth pool which will be coming soon). Doug and Charles were so sweet to make sure I have everything I feel I will need for my post partum healing, and I now have all of that as well. They take such good care of me. :)
They are going to be GREAT parents.
Right now at this very moment, I'm battling allergies (hate you ragweed) but enjoying these last few weeks of pregnancy. I keep getting questions about if I'm ready for it to be over.
No.
It's bittersweet actually. At times I am ready to be done with pregnancy. But most of the time, I'm not. Because I know I will never get to experience this again. And again, depending on the day, depends on how Ok with that I am. The miracle of pregnancy never fails to amaze me, and I never get tired of it.
But at the same time, I am so anxious to see Doug and Charles holding their baby finally!!!! Sometimes I try to imagine what their reactions are going to be to him finally coming earth side. Oh it's going to be so amazing to watch that.
I'm so glad we are going to have a photographer there to capture that moment for them. It is definitely going to be priceless. :)
I will be updating more often. Making sure to document as much during these last few weeks, since things will be changing somewhat rapidly from here on out.
P.S. I have created a FB page specially for our surrogacy journey. I never, ever, thought we would gain such a volume of readers and followers. That was never my intention in starting this blog and sharing my journey. I just wanted to document the pregnancy for the guys and myself, and maybe help some others understand what we are doing. But our story really soared into the public. I was becoming too overwhelmed with trying to keep everyone updated with everything. I had to post to several different places, and the guys had to post, and it was just chaotic. Lol. So I thought having ONE central location for info and updates would make it easier for us all, and be able to allow people to interact with us if they chose. (so many questions to be asked) :)
This blog will not end at baby boy's arrival. My journey will continue as I exclusively pump for him and that alone comes with it's own challenges. I will be giving updates on his well being and his (I know will be) wonderful life with his daddies.
So if you haven't already, and would like to follow us on our new Facebook page and so you don't miss baby boy's arrival: here is the link:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/My-Surrogacy-Journey/329999400470102
"like" the page, so you get the updates in your news feed.
Thank you to everyone that follows our journey. Friends. Family. Strangers. Whether you know it or not, you all have provided so much support for us (especially me) and I can't tell you thank you enough or how much I know we all appreciate it.
Much love.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Half-way There and Gender Update!!!
Whoo! 20 weeks and 1 day, we are half way there!!!
I actually have a feeling we hit our half-way mark a few weeks ago, but for the purpose of calculation... :)
How have things been this last month? Pretty great!!
Sickness is COOOMPLEEEETELY gone! Not even a little here or there. So happy about that.
I feel more energetic, but do get fatigued easily if I don't watch myself. The only thing I have to really complain about, is that my appetite hasn't come back yet. Not really sure what that is about. I'm not *worried* yet, but I would like to have a normal pregnant appetite, so I can make sure I gain the amount of weight I need. I'm gaining, just very slowly. Midwife isn't worried, we still have about 20 weeks to go. Plenty of time to gain what I need, but...I would like to WANT to eat.
Other than that, everything is pretty boring around here. Which is a great thing as far as pregnancy is concerned! This has been the best pregnancy I have had. When carrying my children, each pregnancy I had something happen to cause a scare at one point or another. Everything always turned out ok, but there were scares along the way. There hasn't been any of that with this one, and I'm not complaining one bit! haha
I have been able to feel little bean moving around for a little while, but it was never hard enough to feel on the outside. Not quite a week ago, I started to be able to feel little "bumps" on the outside. :) Go figure it would start when the guys weren't here. :-/ But it's pretty cool the little bean can be felt on the outside now!
So far, this journey has been so amazing. I really consider us to be very lucky. We haven't heard of a lot of first time surrogacy journeys going as great and smooth as ours. Now we have had our bumps along the way, but they haven't been major and they haven't been among each other. I'm just so continually grateful for matching with Doug and Charles, and for them being as great as they are. This journey wouldn't be the same with another couple. I'm a lucky surrogate!!
Speaking of those wonderful dads-to-be. We had our ultrasound on the 17th of this month. They came down and stayed for a few days so we all could spend some time together. It really was a wonderful visit!!
The ultrasound itself was fantastic!! I wish I would have known about this option a long time ago! We went to a private practice Sonographer that my Midwife recommended. It was such a different experience than having them with ultrasound techs at the Dr office or hospital. She didn't rush at all, we were there for almost an hour! She was so incredibly sweet and patient. She kept encouraging the guys to ask whatever questions they had, and she explained everything we were looking at, very thoroughly. You could tell she cared. Plus, she not only gave us a FULL report of how everything looked, she even SHOWED the guys the report! I have never seen that happen before. It always has to be reviewed by the care provider, then the care provider will give the report to the patient, leaving parents to wait and wonder how their baby is doing. If I every have to have ultrasounds again in the future...I will be going there! OH! AND she put the entire thing on DVD for them, and gave them a TON of pictures!! I mean a ton! The room was huge, with several chairs, and two large flat screen TV's; it was pretty cool! My husband and our 3 children all went, so there was plenty room for all of us. My kids (especially) my daughter, are very interested in pregnancy and how the baby grows, so I was very glad they got to attend, and the Sonographer was so great; they got to really get a good understanding of what was going on in my belly. It was a great experience for all of us.
Later after the ultrasound, we met up with both of my doulas. This was the guys first meeting with them. That was a fantastic meeting. Full of many laughs and lots of great info and learning. You could really tell the guys were really interested in the labor process and what the doulas could do for all of us, including once the baby is born. Of course, this being a surrogacy, things will be slightly different than with traditional couples at birth. So we had discussions about how everything would be handled with baby at birth; ex: where baby would be placed immediately straight from the womb, immediate skin-to-skin, how THEY could bond with baby right after birth with skin-to-skin, nursing/immediate nursing after birth, etc. The doulas were so great at providing them with evidence based info about the options and we all were talking openly about what we all thought was best for baby and myself for recovery after birth. Conversations like that are so great. (just another reason I'm so lucky to have these guys for IPs)
This baby is going to have such a great start at a great life! We have so many wonderful people supporting all of us and we all have great communication!
So blessed.
Ok, moving on to what I know lots of people are so anxious to hear. (Many of you that are close with us have already heard)
We had planned to find out what the guys were having. At the beginning of the ultrasound, the Sonographer told us she was going to start at the head and work down the body, checking out everything she needed to check and what we were interested in. Well, this little bean was just making it way too hard to wait for the gender reveal! lol. I believe the Sonographer's words were, "Well I was going to wait, but he's just making it too easy!" haha!!
That's right, Doug and Charles are having a BOY!!!!!!!!! Let me tell you what, this little boy was very proud to show it too! I saw his little penis before she announced it! She was trying to go around it, but he just wasn't having it! haha I think he wanted his daddies to know they are having a boy. :)
I'm so excited for them!!!
A boy. Doug and Charles are having a boy. A son! Aaaaaaaaaah!!! :-D
So for the rest of our weekend, we had an appointment with my Midwife, they got to hear the heart beat and talk to her about what they had on their minds. We went out to dinner...Charles mentioned wanting Red Lobster...that was music to this pregnant lady's ears!! I had been wanting crab so bad for the past month! haha I definitely had an appetite then! I stuffed myself on a pound of snow crab...man was I miserable afterwards...but it was worth it! Thanks for that Charles!!! :) A preggo and her food = pure happiness. ;)
Then Saturday we all went and spent a day at Worlds and Oceans of fun on Saturday! It was a blast!! Doug really wanted to visit Planet Snoopy (he loves Peanuts). It was really neat!! They had a little boutique and the guys did their first bit of baby shopping! LOL Oh that was funny! Charles came out of there carrying 5 big bags of cool Peanut baby stuff! haha They got a great start! I love seeing their excitement, and I'm so glad we get to be a part of it. :)
All in all, it was a fabulous time, I'm glad they were able to stay for a few days.
They will be down again in August. I'm already excited for that visit!! We will be doing the maternity shoot at that visit also.
By then, they will be able to feel the baby move! I can't wait for them to feel their son kicking around. Every little thing they can experience, helps it be more real to them, and helps them be more of a part of their son growing and developing. It is so important to me they get as much of that as they can. So much exciting stuff coming up!!!
Sunday, May 26, 2013
2nd Trimester is here!
16 week belly!
The second trimester is finally here!
Well, it's been here for a few weeks, but I'm just now able to be happy about it since the sickness is *finally* going away.
Uterus is getting bigger and baby is moving up farther in my belly. I'm looking more and more deformed every morning when I wake up. haha
Baby likes to ride high, just under my belly button and kick. Those little kicks are quite obvious the last few days. Today, I was holding my 2 year old son (whom I might add is quite big for his age), he had wrapped his legs around me quite tightly, right about where baby was, and he must have made baby uncomfortable, because that little bean starting going crazy in there! If felt very cool! Those movements cannot be felt on the outside yet, still too early for that. But my midwife says here in a few weeks, we should start to be able to feel them from the outside.
I'm hoping we can feel them by the time Doug and Charles come down for the ultrasound in June! So they can feel their wee one kick!
So I'm finally feeling like me again. I missed feeling like me! The only sickness I have now is a little in the morning shortly after I get up. Then after I eat, about mid-morning it goes away.
I have more energy now, which is really coming in handy chasing around my 2 year old and all the gardening I have been doing. :)
(We have a HUGE garden and lots of flower beds) Without my energy returning, I wouldn't be able to keep up with it all! My other 2 children and the hubby are pretty helpful when I'm feeling tired. Which is ALWAYS great!
I finally went out and got some clothes that actually fit comfortably. :)
Let me tell ya...I have NEVER bought maternity clothes this soon before! lol. I have heard a lot, that I'm "so small!" But I think for only being in the very beginning of the second trimester...I should be smaller! haha
I'm not really complaining though, that just means I get to enjoy the pregnancy belly a little longer. And that, I'm totally ok with. :)
But it feels mighty nice to wear clothes that fit like they are supposed to!
I also had an appointment with my midwife on Friday. Charles got to cam in! It was good, and pretty boring. haha. But for pregnancy, boring is a good thing! My midwife told me I'm boring because I don't have anything for her to figure out! hahaha! I'm sure I will give her something before this pregnancy is over. ;)
That's your warning, just in case you are reading this. hehe
Guesses on if it's a girl or a boy????
Midwife says boy; she has 5 of them, so it's a pretty good guess for her. :)
George and I think girl. We have 2 boys, 1 girl. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I craved sour stuff a lot. As a matter of fact, I kept Kool-aid sour cubes in the freezer from the second trimester, until she was born!
Weeeeell...I'm having that craving again! I made the sour cubes yesterday. :) They work very well at satisfying my sour cravings! Not they healthiest thing I can eat, I know, but I like to think I'm making up for it from everything in my garden. haha. That counts....right???
So anyway, girl is our guess!!!
What's yours????
June 13 is our ultrasound! It will be in 3D. We are all so very excited!!! June 14 we will visit with our midwife again. I want the next few weeks to by quickly!!!
hmmm....I think that's all I have for ya fine people thus far. Things are great! I feel great! I'm rocking a nice baby bump, feeling movement and just a few short weeks, get to see the wonderful future daddies to this little bean and find out what they are having! It's going to be a great summer!!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Way Overdue
Shame on me!!! I have not updated for a while! Please forgive me.
We have some newcomers here recently, and I would like to thank you all for reading and following our journey of surrogacy. It's so great to have so much support and so many people interested! I'm sure Doug and Charles really appreciate the support as well. They really are awesome guys! Can't wait to see them holding their little bean!
Well let's see here...where to start...
I finished my meds! That was so great! It's so nice not having to take my injection supplies with me whenever we go anywhere in the evenings or worry about having to do it before bed. I just....go to bed. :) I don't miss having the sore hips either. :)
I had my first Midwife appointment. It was pretty short and sweet. Baby's heart rate was in the 160's. The little bean is hard to tract down, that's for sure! haha Midwife has to search and search, and pin it down when she finds it! It usually hides behind my heart beat, which makes it sound so much more amazing when we hear it.
So everything is going great so far. Belly is definitely getting bigger, pants getting tighter.
This is what I woke up to a couple mornings ago. :)
Little baby bean saying hello! As I was waking, in my sleepy stuper, I couldn't figure out what that bump was...I moved my covers, and looked down and instantly realized and actually said, "Well hey there!" lol. The picture really doesn't do the bump justice, I stood up and looked all kinds of weird! haha
But baby must have moved because shortly after I started walking around, the hard protrusion of my belly went away. For a while anyway.
Those are the little moments, I wish I could share with the guys. I hate they have to miss that. :(
Oh such great news!!!! The sickness has pretty much gone completely away!! Woo hoo!! I know, I know, not the greatest of great news you were expecting, I'm sure. But let me tell you folks that have never had to experience the "joyous" pregnancy sickness...when it finally goes away, that is something to celebrate! haha
My children are really beginning to get excited. Even my newly two year old little Q responds well. I have little talks with him about there being a baby in mommy's belly. He will come up to me out of the blue, life my shirt and poke my belly saying, "baby." But then, he wants to SEE the baby. haha. I'm curious to see how he will respond to mommy having a big 'ol belly!
The biggest challenge I am having right now, is protecting my belly from Q when he wants to climb on mommy's lap. Lol. He isn't so gentle about it anymore, and he likes to rough house...soooo, I'm constantly holding something over my belly to shield it from his surprisingly strong little jabs of the elbow, knee, or whatever other body part it may be. Yesterday he did a headbutt to my belly. Ouch. I kind of yelled out, "be careful! The baby!" His sweet response was, "Oh...! Sorry baby." Oh sweet boys....
No worries, he hasn't done anything with enough force to cause any harm. :)
Our next Midwife appointment is on May 20. Then our ultrasound is on June 13. It will be in 3D! How awesome is that?! I have never had a 3D ultrasound before, so I'm pretty darn excited! We will be finding out the gender as well. :) I figured if the guys didn't want to know, I still would! I just get too antsy with that kind of info! haha
That's all I got for ya for now! I will continue to update and back on a regular basis again. Sorry again for it being so long since my last one! I have just been a busy, busy lady! I have been getting ready for finals (coming next week!), being at a client's birth, and celebrating my Q's 2nd birthday...not much rest for the weary!
I will be taking pictures every week. I probably won't post EVERY picture. Maybe I will. Eh, don't know yet. haha
Thanks for following our journey! See you all very soon!
We have some newcomers here recently, and I would like to thank you all for reading and following our journey of surrogacy. It's so great to have so much support and so many people interested! I'm sure Doug and Charles really appreciate the support as well. They really are awesome guys! Can't wait to see them holding their little bean!
Well let's see here...where to start...
I finished my meds! That was so great! It's so nice not having to take my injection supplies with me whenever we go anywhere in the evenings or worry about having to do it before bed. I just....go to bed. :) I don't miss having the sore hips either. :)
I had my first Midwife appointment. It was pretty short and sweet. Baby's heart rate was in the 160's. The little bean is hard to tract down, that's for sure! haha Midwife has to search and search, and pin it down when she finds it! It usually hides behind my heart beat, which makes it sound so much more amazing when we hear it.
So everything is going great so far. Belly is definitely getting bigger, pants getting tighter.
This is what I woke up to a couple mornings ago. :)
Little baby bean saying hello! As I was waking, in my sleepy stuper, I couldn't figure out what that bump was...I moved my covers, and looked down and instantly realized and actually said, "Well hey there!" lol. The picture really doesn't do the bump justice, I stood up and looked all kinds of weird! haha
But baby must have moved because shortly after I started walking around, the hard protrusion of my belly went away. For a while anyway.
Those are the little moments, I wish I could share with the guys. I hate they have to miss that. :(
Oh such great news!!!! The sickness has pretty much gone completely away!! Woo hoo!! I know, I know, not the greatest of great news you were expecting, I'm sure. But let me tell you folks that have never had to experience the "joyous" pregnancy sickness...when it finally goes away, that is something to celebrate! haha
My children are really beginning to get excited. Even my newly two year old little Q responds well. I have little talks with him about there being a baby in mommy's belly. He will come up to me out of the blue, life my shirt and poke my belly saying, "baby." But then, he wants to SEE the baby. haha. I'm curious to see how he will respond to mommy having a big 'ol belly!
The biggest challenge I am having right now, is protecting my belly from Q when he wants to climb on mommy's lap. Lol. He isn't so gentle about it anymore, and he likes to rough house...soooo, I'm constantly holding something over my belly to shield it from his surprisingly strong little jabs of the elbow, knee, or whatever other body part it may be. Yesterday he did a headbutt to my belly. Ouch. I kind of yelled out, "be careful! The baby!" His sweet response was, "Oh...! Sorry baby." Oh sweet boys....
No worries, he hasn't done anything with enough force to cause any harm. :)
Our next Midwife appointment is on May 20. Then our ultrasound is on June 13. It will be in 3D! How awesome is that?! I have never had a 3D ultrasound before, so I'm pretty darn excited! We will be finding out the gender as well. :) I figured if the guys didn't want to know, I still would! I just get too antsy with that kind of info! haha
That's all I got for ya for now! I will continue to update and back on a regular basis again. Sorry again for it being so long since my last one! I have just been a busy, busy lady! I have been getting ready for finals (coming next week!), being at a client's birth, and celebrating my Q's 2nd birthday...not much rest for the weary!
I will be taking pictures every week. I probably won't post EVERY picture. Maybe I will. Eh, don't know yet. haha
Thanks for following our journey! See you all very soon!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)